Wednesday, December 5, 2012

The Non-Magic School Bus

I'm honestly surprised it has taken me 3 and a half months to write this blog, considering the ability that this topic has to absolutely send me into a fit of rage.  And I'm not an angry person, I'm actually very laid back....

So here goes...

The MBTA.



I hate it.  I wish I didn't have to spend my money every semester to absolutely hate one out of every two public transportation experiences I have.  I know practically speaking that I need to take the bus and train, and therefore I need to pay the money.  But I think its complete and utter garbage that almost every time I get on a bus or train I want to gouge my eyes out.

I take that back...I like the train.  I have a thing for the train.  The train can stay....it's the buses.

First of all....Bostonian's and particularly Boston University students have absolutely zero bus etiquette. It is actually disturbing that a whole generation of people appears to have been brought up with no common sense at all, and that I'm part of that generation.

Common Sense Bus Etiquette:
1)  If there is an empty seat, please...for the love of God....please someone sit in it.  Men, just a word about this.  If you have a woman who is standing near you, its still expected that you pretend like your mother taught you well and offer the seat up.  If a woman isn't standing near you, sit down.  You can always get up later.  There is nothing more annoying than watching people pile up around this empty seat because no one wants to look selfish and take the seat.  I'll tell you what.  I take the seat every time, unless there is an older or more pregnant woman than me (aka...pregnant at all).

2) Don't stand at the front of the bus and look dumbfounded when the bus driver tells you to move back to allow room for others.  Hello.....the bus is 40 feet long....I don't know if you've noticed, but it goes all the way back.  And all 40 feet of this bus need to be occupied by the 50 shivering, miserable people who are trying to get on the bus and will be stranded at the bus stop if you don't pretend to have a heart and move back.

3) Shower before riding the bus.  Or at least shower the day before riding the bus.  If you haven't showered in a week and are not homeless, I should not be subjected to being in your presence on the bus.  If you are homeless...I will make an exception, because I know showers are hard to come by.

4) Bus driver....stop when someone rings the bell.  Seriously?  How many times does the bus driver have to miss my stop and then tell me its my fault that he missed it.  Yeah, because that makes sense.  Sorry the bell was rung a full 2 blocks in advance....I would have thought that you had enough time to consider stopping.

5) Say thank you and hello to your poor bus driver.  On the same note, bus drivers...acknowledge that you are actually picking up human beings at that bus stop.  It is disheartening to only hear the bus driver speak when they are yelling at someone or swearing at the bad drivers speeding by.

6)  Students...that backpack on your back is a lethal weapon and an absolute annoyance.  Have some thought and spare us all from being knocked aside by your $100.00 chemistry book every time you move.

7) Do not drink so much alcohol that you then ride the bus and puke everywhere.  Last time I checked, the smell of vomit actually makes everyone else around you want to vomit as well.

8) Men, leave the poor girls riding the bus alone. I can speak from experience that headphones are a must-have on the bus...even if you aren't listening to music.  Although, how romantic would it be to tell your grand kids that you met grandpa on the bus.....uh?!??

9) Hey very noisy foreign language speakers that have rapid fire conversations with someone on the phone while on the bus....I guess this isn't an etiquette thing, but I really wish I knew what you were saying and I really wish that unrecognizable gibberish didn't make my head hurt after a long day.

10)  I don't ever want to see your tongue going into the mouth of someone else on the bus.  Get a room...matter of fact...get a car and drive yourselves.


Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Trust


We had a really good speaker tonight at graduate fellowship through Intervarsity...and I was struck by one thing in particular.  Trusting God.  I think its almost a catch phrase of Christianity...you need to trust God with your life.  Ok.  Sounds simple enough right?  Ok, I'll say it.  God, I trust you with my life.

But do I?  Do my actions and my words and my thoughts and my fears say that I really trust God with my life?  Because if that's the case...why do I worry about some of the things I worry about?  Why do I still spend large amounts of time wondering when Prince Charming is going to come into the picture?  Why do I question if the choices I've made to come to Boston were the right ones?  Why do I second guess myself all the time?  Why do I spend almost all of my decision making time consulting with my own comforts and my own opinions, but rarely consulting with the one that actually matters? When is the last time I prayed about a big decision before I spent hours stressing about it on my own?

I think what it comes down to honestly, is that although I constantly give lip service to the phrase "I trust God", I don't really trust God.  I trust him in some things.....fully even.  But I can't hand over the reigns.  It's like I know better...I've got a better handle on it than he does.

  I have recently picked up an old book of mine for some light reading at night, and it's called "For Women Only".  It is a book that came from the time in my college career where I felt that buying every relationship book under the sun would prepare me for actually having a relationship happen.  Many books purchased later, and still no successful relationship.  Duped once again by popular Christian culture.  Ha!  Regardless, I have picked up the book again, and just started the first chapter when it started talking about trust.  Men value when a woman trusts them.  Lack of trust is the same as not showing them love...it is disrespecting them and downgrading their abilities.  The book uses the example of how women often times tell men that "they should just stop for directions", mostly because we don't trust that they will actually find the way out of the middle of nowhere that they have gotten us into.  I have to admit, this is a struggle for women in dealing with men.  Honestly, we may not trust you.  We may assume that we know better.  But eventually, when I'm in a marriage, I need to shift my thinking to a point where although I may know how to get where I'm going, or I may think that I know, I'm choosing to put my trust in someone else's abilities.

I think trusting God is somewhat like that.  It's a conscious choice to let go and say, although I have done this on my own for a long time, I know that this will work out for the good of everyone involved if I choose to trust you.  I know that our relationship was meant to be one of trust. I'm supposed to trust, and he is supposed to take care of me.  That's how I want my marriage to be, and that's how I want my relationship with God to be.

So, what does trust look like?  Because I sure know one thing.  I know it isn't always going to mean I don't get hurt.  You can trust your husband's map reading skills all you want and it still doesn't mean you won't get stuck in a ditch somewhere along the way.  Sure, I expect that he will get out of the car and push us out of the ditch at some point, but we may both get dirty and frustrated and cold and tired before its all over.  Same with life.  Do I expect a trust-filled life to be carefree and amazing and like a Disney movie of song and dance.  Maybe some days....but I also know that there will be hardships.  And trusting God isn't saying, "I trust that you will help me avoid the bad stuff". It means I trust you to see me through the bad things.  I trust you to lead me where you want me to go.  I trust that you will either bring someone into my life or you will change my desire for that.  Why wouldn't I trust that?  What kind of God do I serve that would seriously string me along and make me miserable just for kicks?  Not my God.  I don't know about your God, but my God is too good for that.  He is too good for me, but somehow he still thinks I'm the coolest person ever.  Literally the coolest person.  I'm the kid he brags about.  I'm the 50 pictures in God's wallet that he shows off to everyone. So, how do I get off trying to make my own way because I don't trust this God that loves me more than anything to take care of things the way they are meant to be taken care of.

So convicting.

Real life application:
1) I have lots of student loans.  And by lots, I mean...I have more than I ever wanted to have, plus about $10,000.  And as my trust in the scholarships in the SSW dwindle...I have started to come to terms (although begrudgingly) that I will likely be taking out many more loans to finish off my degree next year.  Awesome.  I actually cannot even fully express how stressful this has been, and how frustrated I have been with this.  But you know what?  I feel really convicted that I was supposed to move to Boston.  It was the single easiest decision I've ever made in terms of "next steps"...I knew it was right, even if it was hard.  So, part of feeling that I made the right move is trusting that God will provide for the move right?  God is bigger than my loans.  God has plans for how my loans are going to get paid, and they don't involve me prostituting or selling drugs.  So, what am I so worried about?
Get over it Dani.

2) I've been incredibly unlucky with my health in the past 7 years of my life.  Oprah had a cancer scare last week......at whatever age she is.  I've had several legitimate cancer scares starting when I was 18.  One so serious it almost affected my decision to come to Boston.  This is stressful and hard to come to terms with.  I haven't planned my life in my head in all seriousness for several years now, because I have, quite frankly, fear that I won't be around to experience it.  Its one thing to be realistic, but to have so much fear that I quit dreaming?  I continue to pursue a career...but I can't allow myself to dream about a long life?  What's that all about?  Way to dream small scale.  My little bubble of "self-preservation" is not a mechanism of trust, its a mechanism of selfishness.  I'm over it.

3)  I'm 26 and have been single almost my entire life.  And I don't think I'm half bad and I think I'm worth it and I think the right guy hasn't come along yet.  And I trust that God will either bring that right guy along, or will change my heart about wanting it to happen.  Its ok to be single forever.  Would I be ok with being single forever?  No, not really.  But do I trust that if God wants me to be single forever that he will change my mind about that?  Yeah, I do.

There are more, but its late, and I'm tired.  I just think this trust thing needed to be explored....I need to work on it.  I need to work on a lot of things, let's be serious, but this is one of the biggies.

Speaking of trust, God...I trust that I will not die from sickness, stress, and "paper-writing induced brain explosion".  Cheers to finals!


Monday, November 26, 2012

27 days

Top 10 Reasons I Cannot Wait to be Back in Spokane:

1) These people....



Because they continue to love me even though I moved all the way across the country for grad school!

2)   and these people....
The most fabulous best friends a girl could ever ask for.
3) This animal....

Sassy; my 13 year old grouch.  

4) This church...

Because Park Street is great and all, but New Comm is where its at.

5) and this small group...
I get to spend every Monday night with these smoking hot babes.  Be jealous.
6) This place....

Can't get this place off my mind.

and these people...give or take a few... :(

And I can't get these people off my mind either.  Family.

7) This restaurant....

Makes me want to learn French.

8) This holiday....

Please Mom, get me a nightgown just like this.

9) This movie...

AMAZING

with this girl....

EVEN MORE AMAZING.  She's taken boys, keep your claws off.

10) and this night.....oh this night.  

Party hats?  Check! Pink Panty Droppers? Check!  Dick Clark?  Uh oh...

27 more days of Boston, and then homeward bound for two glorious weeks!  Cannot wait!  See you all soon!


Monday, October 29, 2012

Sandy did not play nice...

To my dear friends and family back home: I have not been swept out to sea or blown off the map. But, can I just say that I really appreciate Spokane's mild climate after today?  

Winds started to pick up yesterday, but REALLY picked up today.  The wind was literally shaking the entire house throughout most of the day. We lost power...for 5 minutes (if that). Pretty exciting really...and nothing more than that here in Boston.  Lots of coastal flooding in other places and New York, New Jersey, Maryland, and even Southern Mass need a lot of prayer because their clean-up is going to be a lot more difficult than ours.  I'm sure news coverage has been extensive everywhere in the country, but being on the East Coast, I have seen a lot of images of people that are really going to meet some tough challenges up ahead after this storm. So keep those prayers coming!  

One thought I had during all of this is how much more prepared they were here than they were for Hurricane Katrina.  I guess you can take a political/racial spin with that, or you can chalk it up to a lot of lessons learned following that particular event.  Whatever the case, the response was really good here in Massachusetts and I think most states would agree that their response was good too!

Lots of people out here also like to downplay how bad storms are...  Coming from a location that barely ever has anything worse than a couple feet of snow or an occasional dust storm, this was bad.  Don't let these crazy East Coasters tell you otherwise. 

As for Boston University, they canceled classes today and are canceling any classes that are scheduled  before 11:00 AM tomorrow since transportation is still trying to get up and running again!  This is good for me because I have an 8:00 AM class, and I didn't feel like getting up for it!  I like to think I'm a responsible and motivated graduate student, but if I can have class canceled for any reason at all, I will gladly take it.  :)

Thanks to those that prayed for our safety here.  I'm loving my time here in Boston...natural disasters and all!

Monday, October 22, 2012

All Hallows Eve

Can I just say I have a thing for Halloween?

As I find myself this year, in the land of Halloween...here are my thoughts.

1) I was sick on Halloween last year....and couldn't dress up.  This year I am without a costume, and don't really have plans to get one.  I am turning into an old person...its official. And I'm oddly ok with it, because Halloween ends up costing a lot of money and is kind of exhausting.  There is something so peaceful about forgoing the costumes for a night of pumpkin carving with friends instead.  But I so look forward to sharing the subway with a menagerie of scantily clad zoo animals. Oh college.

2) In light of that, I have had some really great costumes over the years.  This one is top in my books. I'd re-do this one over and over if I could.  It did make the bathroom a challenge though, and we all know how much I go to the bathroom.  Bad news bears.


3) I have two favorite Halloween movies.  Hocus Pocus and Casper.  Now when I say that I love Hocus Pocus, I tend to draw a hefty amount of judgment from my Christian friends.  Yes, my mom thought it was ok to expose me to witchcraft as a young child.  No, I never dabbled in witchcraft as a result of it...phew. Close call.  Shoot, I was way more likely to become a wizard, look how cool Harry Potter is.  Hocus Pocus and Casper are cool for two very different reasons.

A) Hocus Pocus is cool because it is set in Salem, MA...which I don't know if you know this, but I basically live there.  Half hour away...close enough.  It is also cool because the main character's name is Dani.  She was the first girl I ever experienced as having my name.....and turns out she isn't even real.  Disappointment.

B) Casper is cool because its the ultimate romance.  Girl becomes best friends with ghost. They fall in love. Ghost sacrifices for girl. Ghost gets to play Cinderella for the night.  Ghost turns into Devon Sawa....seriously, doesn't get better than that!

4) Pumpkin carving is torturous. The seeds are gross. The guts smell bad.  I'm typically within an inch of ending my life by way of tiny, jagged pumpkin knive.  It's bad news all around.  But it is so worth it when you take cute pictures of your lit up pumpkins all lined up in a row.  

5) I can't wait to be the parent that checks every piece of her kid's Halloween candy to make sure no psychos have shoved razor blades in them.  I feel so bad for the people that seemed just sketchy enough that my mom internally memorized what candy they gave us so that we could throw it away later.  I remember one house we went to had this guy answer the door, and he had painted a third eye onto his forehead.  His candy definitely got tossed later that night...

6) Speaking of trick or treating....why the heck does Halloween land in the fall?  Because I never once got to wear my cute ballerina costume or princess costume without a pair of sweats or jeans underneath and my heavy winter coat over top.  Way to kill a sweet costume, you stupid weather.

7) Home Improvement Halloween episodes are a little slice of heaven.

8) Bobbing for apples is filthy.  It's like being Catholic and drinking off the same wine glass as the entire church.  UGH.

9) Tis the season for scary movies, and I want it to be over.  As much as I love a good natured scare right around Halloween time, I am NOT into having a commercial for Paranormal Activity play 3 times during every commercial break on Hulu.  That trailer haunts my dreams.

10) I was a "bum" for Halloween once.  And I'm a social worker...who has a history of working with the homeless.  I'm the worst.

11) I think I should dress Scooter up even if I have no costume plans of my own.  What do you think of this?





Friday, October 12, 2012

Anonymous

Boston is a busy spot.  It is diverse.  It is constantly moving.  I really love it.  And one aspect that I really loved upon arriving here, I must admit, was not knowing the name of every homeless person on the street.  In Spokane, after two years of working directly with a healthy percentage of the homeless on the streets there, I felt like I couldn't go anywhere without being noticed.  I wasn't anonymous anymore, and they weren't anonymous anymore.  Sometimes it was a good thing, but most of the time I just craved that anonymity again.  I wanted to be able to be in the grocery store without having a conversation with everyone that approached me.  I wanted to be able to wear that short dress out with friends and not have to answer about it on Monday when I got teased about it by someone that saw me.  But as much as I wanted my privacy back, I also desired to not know anything about their hardships anymore.  When you work with people and walk alongside people in that way, everything about you ends up changing.  Your personal politics change.  Your attitude towards your own life and your own circumstances change.  Your biases get tossed or strengthened...depending.  I found myself unable to walk past a homeless person in any context and assume that they suck as human beings...and there actually had been something comforting in that before.  Being oblivious had been great...it took the responsibility off of myself....because it was their fault...it was their problem...not mine.

Now as I arrive here...wishing for some of that obliviousness to come alongside my newfound anonymity...I realize I have no shot of ever having that again.  Homelessness continues to break my heart, and continues to be a driving force behind what I'm doing in social work. My field placement is passionate about human rights and happens to be deeply involved in issues surrounding homelessness and particularly some terrible laws that have been passed in Massachusetts in the last year.  Two of my 6 clients in my caseload are homeless or have been homeless in the last 6 months.  For all the effort I took to get away from this issue....I feel like I'm actually so swallowed up in it and it's so a part of my life, I may actually be linked to it forever.  For all those months that I wished to be here, I now wish to be home some days...I wish I knew what was happening in my guys' lives...I wish I wasn't so anonymous now.  I feel a deep sense of pain when I think of winter coming and the fact that some of our guys may not make it through and that I, in my haste to leave, probably didn't get any real closure with them.

I was riding on the Red Line up towards Harvard yesterday after work and I was standing alongside a multitude of other business people...all of us in our fancy outfits with our books open or IPods on.  I must admit...I've had enough really interesting bus/subway experiences that I tend to shut out life with a book, but I happened to be standing right alongside a guy who was not willing to be shut out.  He was clearly intoxicated and was rambling on about how his wife had died and about how we all thought we were better than him, and a multitude of other things that couldn't be deciphered over the din of the train.  I was just thinking yesterday of how long the Red line train is...and how strange it is when people happen to meet up with people they know on it.  What are the odds really that you would happen to be on the same train, let alone end up in the same car....out of the 20 odd cars on the train.  Now you can choose to just apply this to the likelihood of running into a friend...or you can apply it to the likelihood that you end up standing next to the one person on the train who actually needs some attention.  Figuring that my book could wait and that I could stand to abandon my "no eye contact rule"...I let this guy divulge his life a little bit.  And he was completely pleasant...and he was hurting really badly.  As I look back on that moment, I realize that I don't blame anyone for not paying attention to him, because he was relatively obnoxious, but I would have blamed myself if I hadn't paid attention. People looked on uncomfortably as this guy engaged me...probably thinking I was in over my head or stupid....or both.  And he said his two bits and got off at Central station and I'll probably never see him again.  He won't remember me, and I likely won't remember his face, but for two minutes he was allowed the chance to not be anonymous.

To say that my faith was strengthened while I was at the House of Charity would be a bit of a stretch.  It was really desolate.  It felt really hopeless a lot.  I felt really abandoned in a place that felt miserable some days.  But on the outside of that experience, as I look in, I find that I have a great deal more perspective, and I feel my faith growing as I process it more.  God is so present, even in the most dire circumstances.  The House of Charity is a place where God moves daily...in really big ways and in really small ways.....and it is so much easier to see from the outside in how specifically he is moving.  Along the movement front, one of my dear friends who I completed a church internship a few years ago is getting married in two weeks.  He is absolutely the most thoughtful man I have ever met...he is dedicated to God, he is passionate about people, he loves his son more than anything in this world, and now he also loves his bride-to-be in a way that is so self sacrificing and so beautiful. This man would come to the House of Charity to help with Urban Plunges for the church interns and would just melt into the environment...talking with the clients and listening to their struggles and offering a pat on the back or prayer.  He reminds me of why I am doing what I am doing.  He used to be a client at the House of Charity.  If I had been working there 6 or 7 years ago, I might have known him personally as a meth addict and thought he was a "hopeless case".  Instead, I know him as my friend and an inspiration and enough reason to keep fighting the good fight in this upward battle against homelessness.  I'm reminded when I look at him of how precious second chances are, and I'm challenged to consider my place in being a part of facilitating those second chances as I keep on with my career.



Shameless plug time.  The Poor Man's Meal is this weekend at the House of Charity.  In case you are in Spokane and want to support a worthy organization, please consider this one.  I love the House of Charity because it provides a "no strings attached" approach to serving others.  There are a lot of very selfless and loving people that work there, and I must say a big part of my heart remains there today and with the mission that they carry.  It starts at 11:30 and your ticket price is a donation...I believe its $10.00 a person.  Believe me, the meal alone is easily worth the $10.00...Tami is an amazing chef.  House of Charity runs very nearly on private donations alone, and in this rough economic time, they need all the help they can get.  Thank you for listening to my heart on all of this...love you all!


Tuesday, October 9, 2012

L is for the way you look at me

This past weekend I had the pleasure to attend something that was so reminiscent of foregone college days that it made my heart insanely happy.  I have gotten involved in my short time of being in Boston with a great church (Park Street...check it, it's REALLY old) and also a great on-campus group called Graduate Christian Fellowship which is the Boston University leg of Intervarsity ministries for Graduate Students.  They had their annual retreat up in New Hampshire on this beautiful "lake" (I say lake loosely coming from the Northwest where we have real lakes) and it was just a really great time.  It included all the requisite aspects of a retreat experience...time that I desperately needed to be with God, worship, a healthy amount of competition (kickball, cake decorating, board games), and time spent with people that love Jesus (this aspect is actually a little rare in Boston...the educated crowd in Boston to a large degree is also not interested in faith.)  Also requisite....the relationship panel. Now, in my Campus Crusade days, I sat through a number of relationship panels.  I went on Summer Project...which was basically a relationship panel in and of itself.  I went to a secular relationship seminar with my high school kids in Moses.  Everyone loves to talk about relationships...and I'm one of them.  But this time around, I didn't go.  I couldn't stand to sit through one more relationship panel and leave with that same old feeling of inadequacy and false hope in imaginary scenarios that I have made in my mind.

My college years were spent mentally chasing after every guy that I could.  I had serious crush after serious crush.  I had stupid crushes that I had no business having.  I watched most of my friends get married....sometimes to people I had liked. Yeah, that puts things in perspective. I can't even speak to how many minor and major heart breaks I have walked through in my college years and since college.  I have been burned...I have been strung along...I have walked down many paths in my mind and then been greeted with nothing.

But this isn't a "woah is me" blog....because I've had plenty of those.  This is meant to be an honest blog, because sometimes all the other voices drown out the single kids and we don't really have an opportunity to be honest.  And this is me being honest.

I would certainly be lying if I said that I don't have moments sitting at home alone at night studying or watching TV that I wish there were someone next to me other than my cat......who, granted, is very faithful...but not very interactive.  I would be lying also if I said I haven't cried some while considering this whole relationship thing after this weekend, because it is personal.  Being single is a personal thing.  Every person experiences it differently and to a different degree.  It hurts some people more than others.  I would say in college it really hurt me....it was a devastating characteristic of who Dani Haller was.  I struggled with figuring out what I was doing wrong and why it was so hard for me and why just about everyone else had succeeded in finding that perfect guy or girl.  I equated being single to failure....

Last Fall, I failed one more time.  I failed to snag that one last guy.  The one that I put an inordinate amount of hope in.  The one that I look back on and was so poorly suited to my personality that we never could have made it anyways.  And with that failure I gave up.  I quit trying, and blessedly....it has been a year that has allowed me a great sense of freedom.  God puts people in our lives for a reason, and that guy was not put in my life to be a viable dating option.  But did I learn from it?  Oh yes, I did.

I think that last guy really broke me up inside because it was a reiteration of the fact that you can't force someone to feel for you in a way that they don't on their own.  You can think someone is the most fantastic person in the whole world, but if they don't return those exact emotions back at you, it isn't going to happen.  And why would you want it to?  Why would you want to date someone who doesn't think you are the coolest person ever...without persuasion on your part?  That's what you are going for.  If they think you are just alright...that kind of stinks.  You know?  And it kind of stinks to assume that you should be able or should have to persuade them to think otherwise anyways.  I wonder what's wrong with acknowledging that they are still an incredibly person while also acknowledging that they are an incredible person that you shouldn't date.

The more I think about singleness, especially in the church, I realize that its counter-cultural to be semi-ok with being single.  Not just getting by while you are single, but actually thriving in that category of life.  I guess something I have considered this year is whether I am living well as a single person, because if I'm not living well as a single person, what do I expect that being a dating person will be like?  Mix another person's "junk" (I mean that in a figurative sense, not a literal one) in with my "junk", and think that we will come out the other end less junky than when we started?  Those problems don't get better because you add another person in the mix.  What am I doing in my life to work on the things that I actually believe God is calling me to work on before I get into a relationship.  I feel like we all have an inkling of what those things are. Now, I know God blesses us with relationships when we are still a MAJOR work in progress...but what about when you know that he is challenging you to work on something and you are waiting it out because you feel like you'll be able to work on it better when you are in a relationship.  Like having another person there for support will motivate you?  Nah...give me a break.  If you feel like God is asking you to move, you move...you don't wait for someone to move with you.  Maybe you are supposed to be totally done with the moving before that person gets there....even if its hard work and you hated doing it alone.

I think that single women in their mid 20s start to feel a sense of desperation.  I have felt that...I can relate.  That feeling that by the time you actually feel ready to date seriously, there won't be anyone left to date.  That feeling that if you are ready, none of the guys you are ready to date are ready to date you.  Or will ever be ready to date you?  The book "He's Just Not That Into You" really hurt my feelings when I first read it, because it was written about me....he was never that into me.  Ever. None of them.  Does that hurt my feelings now?  Somewhat, but its also OK  because where would my life be if "he" (any of the "hes") actually had been into me?

I can tell you one thing...I wouldn't be pursuing my Masters degree to go into a field that I feel I can make a difference in.  I would be in Spokane, WA....or the middle of nowhere WA....doing something mediocre.  Instead I'm pursuing what I feel God has led me to, and undoubtedly what God was leading me to in place of that all powerful relationship idol that I was always grasping for.  I wouldn't be in Boston.  I wouldn't be comfortable with myself and what I stand for.  So much of who I am as a person has been formed in the last 5 years.  And so much of that person was defined by being single...because being single gave me the time and space and freedom to do the defining.

I guess that I hope that this is an encouragement to someone.  I'm not in any way saying that I have this single thing down...did I mention tears earlier?  There is still a real pain in being single at 26 years old while most of my friends are married.  But there is so much joy in every other capacity of life that it outweighs that pain.  And it doesn't mean that I don't know a handful of Mr. Amazing s,  even right now in my life....but a step back and a heaping of perspective says that Mr. Totally Amazing will figure it out on his own and outshine any of these guys that I may perceive to be the "only people on the radar".  And it doesn't make you a loser to wish one of those guys would turn out to be that Mr. Totally Amazing.  I still have fatty crushes, but I also try to maintain some perspective on what the impact of those crushes not liking me back would be.  If the impact falls somewhere along the line between "total devastation" and "nuclear holocaust", I am investing too much emotion.  Harmless fun is allowed and encouraged in my book, total meltdown status is not.

P.S.  I love you married people.  And I look forward to providing you all a chance to embarrass me as much as I embarrassed you at my Bachelorette party someday!  :)  I just may be 40 before that happens, so start thinking of age appropriate Bachelorette activities....



Friday, September 28, 2012

Won't Back Down

Oh how naive I am....even at the ripe old age of 26.

This week I took a very interesting path down finding out what it feels like to go broke via emergency veterinary care.  Let me just say....it doesn't feel good and I don't want to do it anymore.  Interesting thing about when your cat decides to skip the "cry for help" stage and go straight for the poison....you get sucked into some expensive vet care.   And he gets to continue living...better luck next time sucker.

Now, I was initially impressed by the care he received the day I first brought him in...but that was because I was terrified and willing to spend anything to keep him alive.  5 days later, I feel like I've been manipulated...much like I feel when I take my car into a Jiffy Lube for an oil change and leave with replaced air filters and shiny tires and a patched up windshield.  So, just to walk into the door of this place as an emergency case, is $160.00.  No joke.  That is for registration and an office visit.  Which is interesting...because registration is me telling the receptionist that my name is Dani and that I have an address and a phone number.  That costs $11.00.  The office visit was interesting, because they then charged another office visit on top of that...plus money to make him throw up and take two expensive blood tests.  Oh, I forgot to mention too that in order to even take a pet into this emergency clinic...you have to call the ASPCA Poison hotline for a consultation....this costs $60.00 right up front.  I get that...its helping a non-profit.  But I think its interesting that you need that to show up to this ASPCA clinic...with doctors who should know just as much as the poison doctors do...they all go through the same schooling.  Sounds like a scam....but being a "freaking-out" pet owner...I forgot to consider scams.  So, I'm $200.00 deep before they even look at the poor thing.  And then $299.00 for the extra office visit (?) and all the other stuff...and I get to leave.

I might add that this all happened as I was getting ready to head to work and was in the midst of getting breakfast going.  Since I didn't eat, I was starving at the clinic.  I asked where there was a Starbucks nearby so I could run and grab something to eat.  She advised me that we couldn't leave the facility unless I left a deposit.  Yes, because I'm going to abandon my disabled, poisoned cat at your facility.  Are ya kidding me?

And that wasn't even the half of it....every night this week (Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and tonight), I went and spent $81.00 to get a blood test done($20.00 more than I was told it would be I might add...my doctor distinctly told me that it would be $60.00...the cost of the test and no charge for an office visit.  When I brought this up, they said they don't do that and that I would need to speak with the doctor to get written permission for that to be refunded back to me.  Yeah, like that will happen).  And his test results came back slightly off tonight (his last scheduled night of tests), so I imagine that they will ask me to come back for another tomorrow.  So, I'm sitting at about $820.00 plus some cab fares....about $900.00 right now.  And to throw a cherry on top of everything (Jiffy Lube), they said they heard what they thought was an irregular heartbeat in him, and that we should consider an EKG.....at some point....not life threatening RIGHT NOW.  I'll give you an irregular heart beat.

Holy crud...they saw a sucker and they worked me hard.  I have gotten on Yelp and read some reviews and discovered I'm not the only fool that has shelled out an arm and a leg.  Makes me feel less like a moron...which is good.  I needed that.

So, it remains to be seen if I'll be eating Ramen for the rest of my life...or if this cat will just buck up and quit "needing" tests.  I need a real veterinarian.....this place is taking me for all I'm worth.  I miss home.

There is something incredibly lonely about being in a new place during a mini-crisis such as this.  My roommates are heaven sent and have been wonderful...hands down.  But you can't help but wish you weren't here when things like this happen...nothing is easy here.  Nothing is close by.  People aren't always friendly.  EVERYTHING is expensive.  Nothing is familiar.   People that should be dependable disappoint...in really big and kind of inexcusable ways.  Reality.  Boston is fantastic and I love my new home, but it isn't a fairy tale land of perfection.  It still sucks some days.

But, because life is bigger than this crisis and this bad week and myself and this city and this world even....God is good.  And he continues to provide me sanity in the midst of this mild insanity.  Life can be so much worse than this....this is nothing.  This is stressful and hard and potentially could be really sad if it doesn't work out well, but life can be so much harder and so much more sad.  I have friends who are struggling right now with feeling God's goodness.  I can relate...sometimes there is not a single thing that looks good...not one.

I was listening to Pandora today and this song came on, and it is such a sweet reminder of what faith looks like....knowing that even if everything else falls around us, God is the one standing there holding us up still.  Sometimes that is the only good thing, that you are still standing there.  But hey, that's one thing to praise Him for.


For those of you that are reading this that are far away (which will be everyone)...I love you guys and miss you.  Also, to you West Coasters...I have been here for a month now and I can confidently say that the West Coast is indeed the best Coast.  Let's put these fools in their place.





Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Lovely gifts

Things I'm Thankful for Today:

1) Allergy pills.

2) The ability to still write decent papers (pending grading) after being out of school for the last 3 years...

3) Living on top of the ocean after basically being an ocean virgin for so many years...I LOVE the ocean.

4) Having really incredible friends....and I mean really incredible.  Smart, beautiful, motivated, supportive...I've been blessed.

5) Having survived and experienced two years at House of Charity.  For all the challenges, there was literally no better preparation for what I'm doing now.

6) Second chances

7) My mom putting money on my Starbucks gift card.  Nothing makes my Tuesdays better than my morning oatmeal and drip coffee w/ hazelnut and room for cream. :)

8) Having such a great small group back home that I actually miss them like crazy now.  You realize just how blessed you have been when you move away and can't find something quite like that again.

9) Drop in humidity...thank you Jesus.

10) My padre coming to visit me this weekend, a trip to see the lights of the big city next weekend (NYC baby!), and a retreat in New Hampshire the weekend after that!  :)

11) Banana bread

12) A cat that is finally healthy again after being sick all weekend.

13) By the grace of God, NOT getting a full-blown cold even though I feel like I just barely dodged it...

14) Care packages

15) Opportunities to NOT be studying.....

Monday, September 10, 2012

Midnight musings...

Ye of little faith....

This describes me.  To the exact letter.

I spent the last 6 months really really anxiously anticipating my move out here to Boston.  I made and remade budgets.  I e-mailed my financial aid counselor repeatedly....so much so that I think she can't stand me now.  I went over the details of this huge shift in my life over and over, and still in my mind, I could see it not working out.  I could see it falling flat.  I could see myself moving here...hating it...wishing I hadn't taken out the student loans...wishing I hadn't uprooted my life....trying to figure out a way to backtrack and reclaim it all.

And here I am.  And there is zero of that remorse.  In fact, the longer I'm here, the more and more excited I get about what I'm doing here.  I was just talking to one of my best friends on the phone today saying that I desperately miss everyone....but not so desperately that I'm falling apart.  I miss them because I love them and they are my support system, but I'm also doing just fine with them at a distance.  Best case scenario...really.  Because my first week that I left for undergrad at WSU, I almost lost my mind.  After being here 10 days, I still have mine intact.  Making progress.

I really feel like I'm supposed to be here.  What for I don't know...but I do know it's not about me. I could do this anywhere.  Every door opened wide for me to come here at this time and under these circumstances, so I'm convinced God has something in store...he always does.

So, today was the official start of classes and my internship.  Class was just as I expected class to be...long....wordy....but worthwhile.  You know, where you know you will learn a lot, but it won't necessarily be fun while doing it.  That kind of class.  It is covering my least favorite subject, but it has what I think will be the coolest assignment.  We are going to be doing macro based case studies on a community within Boston.  Now, I have a raging love affair for the North End, which is a predominantly Italian-American population.  I also know NOTHING about this population, so there ya go.  Found my case study.  We, although this is nerve wracking and a little ridiculous that I'm looking forward to this, get to go out in the community and interview members of that neighborhood.  We get to ask questions about who the respected community leaders are, what people's experiences are, how a changing cityscape has altered their community, and what their perceived strengths and weaknesses are.  The North End is home to most of the historical sites that we think of as being "Boston" (aka the Old North Church, Paul Revere's House, etc...), but this is a really vibrant Italian neighborhood now...where little old men sit on their doorsteps and watch the world move around them.  I love it.  I can't wait.

My internship is also going to be great.  I have an office, with my name on the outside of the door. I get to decorate it however I want.  I also am reviewing cases and have just received my own first case, and am going to be working with some really different people than I worked with at the House of Charity.  Starting school has really put a lot of my work last year in perspective.  I was SO burnt out by the end of the two years at House of Charity that I was running on empty.  Coming here and getting fresh perspective and additional education will help me figure out my past experiences and delve into new ones with a greater appreciation for the people I'm serving.  Just an idea of what I'm going to be doing.  My first case is already breaking my heart. When you hear of a mother of 6 that is sleeping on the floor in her apartment in the projects so that her newborn can sleep safely in the only open bed....it reaffirms why I want and need to be a part of this profession.  And I need to find that lady a crib!

So, as you can see, I'm settling in nicely.  The coming weeks should be REALLY fun!  I'm getting involved with a cool church in town called Park Street.  So, that is filling a lot of downtime I would have, but its allowing me to feel really connected with a church community again, which is REALLY good.  Also, my Dad is coming to town in two weeks, and that will be quickly followed by trips to NYC and New Hampshire!  So much to see and do before the weather gets cold!  Not to mention...Halloween!  I just ate 6 Halloween Oreos...I'm getting into the season.

Love you all!
P.S.  If you live in Spokane, just because I'm having fun doesn't mean I don't miss you.  Because I do.



Thursday, September 6, 2012

Boston University

It seems as though in the midst of all the fun that the East Coast has to offer, I have failed to talk much about what I'm actually here for...which is school.


So, Boston University is a strange campus.  It runs along Commonwealth Avenue (aka Comm Ave) in Downtown Boston, which is a very very close neighborhood to Fenway.  The student bookstore is about a 5 minute walk from Fenway.  As for the campus itself...Comm Ave is ridiculously long, as is the campus.  I'm used to a campus that has some sort of central square or a central building to it.  This is not like that.  It is 2 miles long and about two streets deep.  Weird huh?  Thankfully there is a Starbucks on campus...so, you will hear no complaints from me.  Other interesting facts, Elie Wiesel teaches here.  Currently.  As in, I could go to his office tomorrow and duck my head inside.  Is that not the coolest thing ever?  Alexander Graham Bell taught here and invented the phone in a BU lab.  Also, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. received his doctorate here in 1955.  Pretty incredible.  Lots of very cool, very intelligent people.

As for the feel of school.  I'm VERY uncool style-wise.  Ok, I'm not going to lie.  I thought I was pretty with it when I came out here, but apparently I'm about 3 years behind.  Thankfully for me, I don't feel it necessary to make myself into a style queen, so aside from maybe making a few updates here and there, I'm going to live in the past baby!  Most people (especially in my grad program) are VERY friendly.  None of the bad East Coast attitudes I had been warned of out here.  Loving that so far.  But check out this fad...not going here EVER.  I have seen a lot of butt cheeks hanging out the bottom of shorts in the last few days...and not a single person wearing normal shorts.  So excuse me for being uncool, at least my cheeks aren't popping out to say hello.  West Coast, watch out...these high-waisted monsters are coming for you.


So, I picked Boston University because it was a Top 25 grad school and because I loved the city.  Pretty easy.  It happened to be the only grad school I applied to, which looking at the statistics, may have been a really reckless decision.  They only accepted 50% of applicants this year, so the odds of me getting a big fat denial letter in the mail were not totally on my side.  Thankfully, they thought I was fabulous or at least good enough, and here I am.

So, let me give you a little bit of information as far as school rankings go.

University of Washington is #3 but wait lists a TON of people.  And it's practically in my backyard....boring.

Boston College is #10, but is about double what I pay in tuition at Boston University.  Which I might add, is already an arm and both of my legs.

Boston University is ranked #16th along with NYU and Hunter which are arguably some of the most reknowned programs in the field of Social Work.

Eastern Washington University was ranked #104...in the country.  So, it would have been a really economical option, but it wouldn't necessarily have been a good option.  And as much as I love Cheney, this is a pretty big upgrade....

So, back to school.  I just finished orientation for both the program as a whole and for my field education (aka internship).  Class wise, I am taking the basics that every first semester MSW student takes.  That includes (don't get too excited now); Human Behavior, Welfare Policy, Intro to Clinical Practice and Intro to Macro Practice.  The first two are pretty self explanatory, but let me fill you in on the Clinical vs. Macro stuff.  Clinical is the area of social work that is more therapy based.  This includes case management, group therapy, individual and family therapy, trauma work, etc...  I am a Clinical major, so my focus is going to fall somewhere either in the very broad category of the major, or somewhere within a focus group.  I'm leaning towards the trauma certificate program.  As for Macro, that is more based around development and management.  Many of the Macro majors are involved in internships that are linked to grassroots organizations and lobby groups and people that are working to change non-profits from the inside out.

Anyways, each of my classes are about 3-4 hours each and meet once a week.  Nothing crazy.  The crazy part of classes are that by next Wednesday, after my last class of the week, I will have been expected to have read almost 300 pages of readings.  I have about 95 that are due by Monday's evening class alone.  They are not fooling when they say grad school is going to be harder.... I went to the library to print the syllabi today and it was almost 100 pages....for 4 classes.  Lord help me.  Then on top of that, I am working 16 hours a week at Greater Boston Legal Services providing wraparound services for the clients that come in to receive assistance from the lawyers.  Greater Boston Legal Services is a pro-bono law firm (which I LOVE) that is really really a massive undertaking.  They have a large number of attorneys that donate their time to help disadvantaged individuals and families in Boston, of which there are many.

I am also working 10 hours a week doing research in the Human Development and Behavior Department, and its probably not super secret research, but I don't know what it is yet...so, I couldn't tell you.

As if that weren't enough...gotta count in church and small group.  Thankfully, and much as an answer to prayers, I have found a pretty good on-campus graduate group that meets to do Bible study and fellowship once a week and through that got plugged into what is said to be a great church.  And I don't even have to sit alone on my first Sunday, pretty great...all my fears being vanquished.  So, with all this....it hardly leaves enough time to eat and sleep.

So ultimate goal in all of this...you might ask?  All I know is that I can sit for my boards and become licensed as soon as I graduate from the program.  That would be a test I'd take here in Massachusetts (which is a fairly easy state for licensing guidelines and requirements).  The licensure is transferrable, which is good too...considering that Massachusetts is great and all, but so is the Northwest.  And after that I have no idea.  I don't have a specific area that I am determined to be working in yet, because there are so many options and two years of school to explore it.  I feel like undergrad was all about knowing right away what you wanted to do after school.  I want to actually take my time this time around and roll with the punches a little bit more.  I don't want to get pigeon holed into something that I'm ultimately not happy with by trying to tighten down on one particular area too early.

So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.  I really appreciate those of you that actually take the time to read these boring things and care about my life enough to listen to me vent.  Really I haven't hit any walls yet and I feel like somehow this is right where God wanted me.  I am typically a very anxious person (as you all know), but I feel so certain about all this....it is such a relief to not feel a full blown panic attack at the thought of being so far from home and so overwhelmed with newness.  It is literally by the grace of God that I am adjusting so well.

I miss you all.  A lot.  Sometimes more than others.  It hit me today when I was in a Walgreen's that I am really missing normal things.  P.S.  Mom, if you are reading this.  They don't sell Chocolate Malt O'Meal here and they only make Hormel (aka Horrible) Chili out here.  Send me the good stuff!  :)


Monday, September 3, 2012

First Few Days

So, obviously I made it to Boston.  I was honestly really worried about the trip, as most of you knew, because my cat is not an experienced flier and typically doesn't have a very good attitude about things he doesn't want to do.  Both of those rang true.  He looked inexperienced and he looked stressed out.  But he also made it alive and is growing accustomed to his new home!

As am I. My bedroom is not put together as of yet, so no pictures of that, but my apartment is great.  We live in a (HUGE by my standards) house.  The house is split up by floor into apartments, and I'm not sure when it was built, but it has to be the oldest house I've ever lived in.  Creaky hardwood floors, REALLY old vent grates for the air conditioning, it looks like it has been lived in for many many years before I got here. But it has modern things going on too and it's painted nice and my roommates are great, so I'm excited to live here.  I, as of yesterday, ran out of storage space for my clothes, so I have a pretty impressive pile of stuff just waiting to be given a home....and two more boxes.  Unpacking seems endless.

So, back to what might be the most important part, school.  I have orientation tomorrow which lasts all day and then an orientation for my internship on Thursday.  And other than that, I have a lot of time to explore.  Classes don't start until next Monday.  Next Monday is also my personal deadline for trying to receive my books in the mail.  I am, as a result of the move and our postal service, missing three books for school.  Two of which are VERY expensive....and I would be VERY disappointed to purchase again.  I had gotten them pretty cheap as an old edition online, but there is no more time for that.  If I have to buy them again, I'm getting the expensive ones.  So not excited about that one.
I also have a novel to read tonight...literally.  I'm not proud to say it, but I have left my summer reading to the last night of summer.  Typical.

As for Boston, it is beautiful.  But I already knew that.  That's why I came back.  I visited Boston last November and when I got to the airport to go back home, I felt myself wanting to stay.  There is an exceptionally exciting vibe here.  I can't describe it, but it's a great spot.

I rented a car for my first day so I could retrieve some boxes and make crucial trips to Target and the grocery store, and I have never been more glad to get rid of a rental car in my whole life.  Driving here is terrifying.  They don't really mark lanes, especially downtown.  So, cars just sort of make their own lanes and line up wherever they want.  It is haphazard....it makes no sense...I hated it.  By the grace of God I wasn't in a wreck, because this country girl does not drive in anything more than Seattle traffic...and this was a whole new ballgame.  My roommate said that I was going to be safe because of my NY license plate on the rental.  Everyone knows New Yorkers have terrible drivers, so they give wide berths.

As for exploring the city, I haven't done much of that....because I've been busy with moving in and going to all the stores that we have at home anyways.  Boring.  However, I did end up in Downtown Boston for a bit yesterday after dropping off the rental car and did the touristy thing and went to Quincy Market.  They have street performers that are hugely popular there.  In Spokane, we have terrible street performers and we also have totally disinterested passersby.  Here, there are GREAT street performers and a LOT of tourists that totally dig them.  So, I had some soup and watched a dance/comedy group perform.  They were totally politically incorrect and I loved it.
This was one of many...I walked past the contortionist, because I was eating and he was gross.

I also hit the very edge of campus to get a book at the bookstore.  I was greeted with a 5 story student bookstore....the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.  I'm in trouble.

So, as you can see.  Things are big.  They will take time to explore. I'm excited to be here, and not excited to have left you all behind.  Being all the way across the country is eye opening, because things are really different and you realize just how far you willingly moved from everyone you love.  But it's also really exciting and I couldn't be happier to be in this city that I fell in love with so much.

Love you all!


Friday, August 17, 2012

Buy my stuff, and help me not be poor when I move.

As you probably all realize by now...I'm moving.

Funny thing about moving across the country.  Unless you can afford a U-Haul and a 5 day trip across the country, you pretty much end up getting rid of most everything you own.  Another funny thing about moving.  If you don't sell some of that stuff that you own...you end up without belongings and with a monetary deficit when you reach said new location.

So, here is the deal.  Keeping self preservation in mind, I have decided to not sell my belongings on Craigslist.  I live alone and don't feel like becoming the next headline because I invited strangers into my house to view my couch.  Not worth it.  However, my couch is worth it, and I'd love for you to take it off my hands!

These are the main items that I'm selling, and I must also add that I'm not at all picky about prices. I would like to not get ripped off, and I would like to end up in Boston with some pocket change to buy things that I need....but I also don't want to rip you off.  I'll be really honest about whats up with each thing...and if you are interested, PLEASE let me know!  I've included pictures...please take these things off my hands.  I'll love you forever (just kidding..I'd love you forever even if you don't buy my stuff).

First item of business....
(I apologize for the photos and all the random stuff in the photos....my apartment is in a serious state of dishevelment while I'm packing up to move...things are messy.)

The Couch.



This is a thing of beauty.  It is grey suede material and is incredibly comfy and is great for naps...or for sleeping on.  I must admit there have been nights when I've foregone the bed and stayed here, because its so comfy.  My parents bought it brand new maybe 6 years ago...and they gave it to me when they got a new couch.  I have had it for a year.  The one thing I must warn is that I own a cat and they owned cats and there are some frayed threads on each end.  I've been working with my cat on not scratching the furniture, but he was a wild child when I first got him.  It would be a great addition to a den or TV room that is comfy and casual....and allows for some frayed ends.  Great couch...this is the one piece of furniture that will break my heart to leave behind.

I'm asking $100.00 OBO.  It's a good deal, just keep in mind the scratches.

Next up....

A Hoover vacuum.



Admit it, you haven't vacuumed in a while.  Maybe you need to buy a new one.  Buy this one.  Again, this is a hand-me-down from my parents and is quite a few years old, however it works great!   I just changed the bag recently...so it should be good to go.

I'm asking $15.00 OBO for the vacuum.

How about a couple....LAMPS.



Shed some light on the situation.  I have two of these little wonders and a little bedside lamp.  I'll sell all of them together for $10.00 OBO.  I also have packs of light bulbs to grace you with when you come get the lamps....last I checked light bulbs don't travel well.

Next up....twin mattress (box and spring...full set) and twin bed frame.




Having kids?  Have family that needs a guest bed when they come to visit?  This bed is perfect.  I would call the bed frame vintage, but that's only because I've had it since I was big enough to have a big girl bed.....  Yes, this has held up for well over 20 years with multiple moves.  It is a great bed frame.  It has been repainted with a new white finish over the years, but it might need another one. I love the shabby chic look and this fits in PERFECT with that.  The mattress is approximately 10-15 years old and is in great condition.  Obviously it isn't brand new, but let's face it... mattresses are crazy expensive brand new, and buying used from a stranger is super sketchy.  So buy from me!  :)

For the mattress set...I'll go for $50 OBO.
For the bedframe...$15.00 OBO.

Now for my cute cute cute little shabby chic desk.


This desk is one of my favorite pieces too.  It has mismatched hardware (little pull knobs) but that could VERY easily be fixed.  It could probably also use another coat of pant as I painted it years ago from whatever really ugly bright color it was when I bought it.  It would be SO cute painted and sanded to make it look really vintage.  Just love this.

Desk is $35.00 OBO.

I also have a dresser....


This dresser is very basic.  It is relatively nice wood (has endured a number of moves and isn't something cheap that was built at Target).  It needs a new coat of paint and also know that it is a little chipped from years of use.  This would be so cute as an addition to a shabby chic room too.  Can you sense a theme?  Gosh, I love my bedroom furniture...what the heck am I doing leaving it behind?

Dresser is $15.00 OBO.

Now just as much as I love shabby chic bedroom furniture, I also love TV.  Guilty pleasure.  This TV is ancient and has very little value in the day and age of flatscreen's and HD.  However, I'll practically throw it at you if you take it off my hands.  It can be packaged in with the DVD player and VCR, and would be perfect for a guest room or a spot where you want a little extra entertainment at no cost.  The coffee table that it is on right now is REALLY nice wood, is really easy to carry (super light) and would be a great addition to just about any room.  I used it for an actual coffee table for a long time, and then in my new apartment it fit better as a holder for this ginormous, obnoxious TV.


Yes, that is Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants on the TV...don't judge.

The coffee table is $15.00 OBO and the TV bundle is $10.00 OBO.

Like microwave popcorn?  Like microwave burritos?  Microwave dinners?  Don't have a microwave?  You are so in luck.  (Am I a good saleswoman or what?)


This microwave has done me well.  I've only had it about a year and a half and its 700 watts and was brand new when I bought it.  I have no reason to believe that it won't last for many more years.  It is Sunbeam brand in case that matters to you!  It is black and silver.

The microwave is $25.00 OBO.

Last but not least....




This little guy is 3 years old, enjoys eating, sleeping and meowing, has a dramatically disabled paw and an auto-immune disorder, and follows you around like a dog.  He enjoys people who spend a lot of time paying attention to him and who wake up early in the morning.

$5.00 OBO.

Just kidding...he is coming with me.

Ok, so if you are interested in anything other than the cat...PLEASE contact me.  Just leave me a comment or message on Facebook or on here, and I'll get back with you.  I leave in exactly two weeks, so the sooner everything goes, the better...even if it means sleeping on the floor for the next two weeks.  If you want more pictures or more information on anything, or want to come check it out...let me know.  Also, if you know of any trustworthy people who won't kill me or steal my cat from my apartment...I'd love to share info with them too.  :)

Thanks friends!!!

Friday, July 20, 2012

Rainy Day

This week I have had a lot of time off work. It has allowed me to hang out with friends, go to a midnight showing of Dark Knight Rises and not have to worry about waking up 2 hours after getting home, and it has allowed me a lot of time to actually appreciate the things that life offers again.  And since I've had some time to enjoy the little things this week, I'd like to highlight the things that are currently ranking top on my favorite things list....

1) Ben and Jerry's Banana and Peanut Butter Greek Yogurt



Run, don't walk to your nearest store and buy yourself some of this.  Seriously.  You won't regret it.  Unless of course you aren't into either bananas or peanut butter....in that case, you may be sorely disappointed!  But seriously, I could eat one of these in a sitting, and I never ever do that.


2) Anything by Malcolm Gladwell

      

This guy is ridiculous. He is a stud.  Everything the man writes is interesting, and that isn't an over exaggeration of any kind.  His intelligence is completely obvious, and I feel smarter just reading his books.  True story.  I am almost done with Outliers (which I highly recommend) and am trying really hard not to delve too deeply into "What the Dog Saw" until I finish the Hunger Games...I'm becoming a total book whore right now.  I have also heard rave reviews for Tipping Point and Blink, but I must refrain....too big of a pile of books as it is!  Anyways, if you want to check them out, they are a good read but require some thinking.  I tend to not read them right before bed or I zone out and miss everything.  They are worthwhile to be wide awake for!


3) The Dark Knight Rises



I was among the many who attended a midnight showing for The Dark Knight Rises in Spokane.  Obviously the whole release has been greatly marred by the horrific events that took place in Colorado, which demonstrates just how senseless life can be sometimes.  An absolute tragedy.  They have started to cancel premieres out of respect for the lost or out of fear of copycats, but truly the movie was incredible and it was just an unfortunate thing that could have happened anywhere and in any situation.  So in a very big plug for the movie, it really brings everything together and couldn't have been better.  Loved it.  And how cool is the Bat Motorcycle?  I'm pretty sure its not possible to crash it (look at those fatty tires), and its also impossible to look uncool while riding it.  Oh, and side note...Joseph Gordon Levitt is the most attractive person alive.

4) Lana Del Ray



This lady is weird.  And I love her.  Check out her music!

5) Thunderstorms



We have had an unusual amount of humidity this year, and that has contributed to us having an unusual amount of thunderstorms.  And I am loving it!



Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Yes I'm still alive!

Has she fallen off the face of the planet?  Has she finally gotten a life?

Neither...I just have no more internet at my house so this blog has been greatly underused in the last month or two.  I figure its about time for an update....and although my life is largely uninteresting...I suppose I do have a few big updates.

1)  In case you weren't aware...I'm leaving Spokane in a little over a month.  If that doesn't really mean anything to you...then disregard further information.  If that means that you want to see me before I leave....I also want to see you.  Let's make it happen.  If you live in Boston...I'll see you soon.  If you live on the East Coast, I will finally be within your time zone and that makes me happy.  If you have never been to Boston, start planning your trips because I love visitors.


2) My job at the House of Charity has finally come to a close (with the exception of a few days here and there to make a few extra bucks before I leave).  This means that I now have an exponentially more expansive amount of time to do whatever the heck I want.  Today that includes drinking REALLY strong Chai tea at an indie coffee shop next to David Pendergraft (of Gonzaga Basketball fame)...and attempting to both look cool and not spill my drink all over myself in front of my biggest sports crush ever.


3) I need to sell all of my furniture and household goods over the next month.  If you think you need something, ask me...I might have it.  And I will sell it to you for next to nothing because I just need to get rid of everything.  Also, I have furniture (most notably a twin mattress and bed frame, a dresser, a desk, and a couch) that needs a new home.  Tell others...I'd rather my friends end up with it instead of Craigslist creepers.


4) I managed to receive a notable scholarship to Boston University this past week, which literally can only be described as a gift from God because it was somewhat accidental that I got it....ok.  Completely accidental.  Here is what happened.  I got my financial aid award (the final version) from the school and it included a letter saying I had been awarded a $10,000.00 scholarship in the name of a lady that had died and gifted a large amount of money to the school.  I was hesitant, because it didn't appear on my financial award sheet....  I sent the financial aid lady an e-mail asking about it and whether it might be an unfortunate mistake.  She responded the next week that indeed I hadn't been awarded that scholarship and that it was a mistake.  I dabbled with the idea of lodging a formal complaint...and instead responded with a very friendly e-mail saying that I'd appreciate being considered for future funds that may come available.  Took the high road on that one and it ended up working greatly in my favor.  She e-mailed me back about 2 hours later with an adjusted financial aid package that included a $10,000.00 scholarship that she had dug up somewhere.  There is next to no movement on the scholarship waitlist, and I know that I would not have received a scholarship had this mistake not taken place and had she not felt guilty for promising money that wasn't mine.  I have felt so sure that Boston is the next step for me and have prayed all along that money would not be an issue and that I would feel a certainty of some kind that I was making the right move.  Between finding an amazing living situation from all the way across the country in a very short period of time, to getting this random and undeserved scholarship, to finding the cheapest plane ticket known to man, to having zero hesitation in my mind and pretty amazing support from my family (who I might add is NOT excited for me to leave)...I feel really excited about this next step.  I feel a great sense of purpose in this all, as I have never felt something fall in line quite like this has.....I think this could be incredible.


5)  I have also been offered an internship at Greater Boston Legal Services, which is above and beyond what I could have hoped for in an internship.  I will be working alongside lawyers and law interns who are providing pro-bono services to the poor in Boston.  Specifically I will be working in the Welfare Unit.  My role will be to help provide access to resources that are outside the scope of the legal work that is being done by the rest of the team.  I also have all my classes in line and Fridays off....this is shaping up to be a good semester.

6) I got the chicken pox when I was 7. It was horrible...and ruined my summer. My parents took me to a low-income clinic that went out of business.  I have no records that I had the chicken pox.  I have to have record that I had the chicken pox to attend grad school in the State of Massachusetts.  Therefore, I have been injected with a live virus vaccine this morning and am actively crossing my fingers that I don't end up getting the chicken pox to cap off my summer experience.  As much fun as that would be....



7) My Uncle Fred passed away a few weeks ago and my mom is currently in Georgia attending his funeral and spending time with my extended family and my sister and her kids.  Please pray for my family to heal some broken hearts, especially for my mom and my Grandma and Fred's wife Jan.  She was a real trooper in the midst of his illness and has the most beautiful heart of just about anyone I know.  She is sad...rightfully so....and could certainly use prayers.

8) I spent this last weekend at Priest Lake with two of my co-workers and was reminded just how beautiful the Pacific Northwest is.  I'm not sure I'll ever find anyplace that offers as much as this area offers.  Sure the East Coast is great and all, but this is prime time.


9) I'm pretty much out of updates and I've only hit #9...told you my life was boring.

Hope you all are enjoying your summer and I apologize again for the HUGE lapse in updates.  I'll have internet again in a month...and until then, I'll support some local coffee shops and support my caffeine addiction at the same time.




Monday, May 21, 2012

God certainly works in mysterious ways.  Or not so mysterious ways.

My internet took a nose dive along with what little integrity my landlord still had this last week.  Stoked about it.

So I come to you as I stew over a melty hot fudge sundae at McDonalds using what is coined as free wi-fi, but required a manager to come help me connect.  Strange Wi-Fi connections are not a good thing for technologically challenged individuals....

I could say this is a tragic downfall in my life...as I am now completely unconnected to one of my favorite ways of staying connected.  However, perspective wins out and I needed a break and am enjoying the freedom of not having every bit of information at my fingertips at any hour of the day.  This change in focus has also allowed me time to read the books and start in on the movies that I need to read/watch a few more times and then discard before moving to Boston.

Update on Boston:

I leave in a little over 3 months.  Terror is beginning to take over...but the kind of terror you get when you ride a roller coaster.  Excitement....horror....but then a general sense of exhilaration for having forced yourself to do something terrifying for the sake of expanding your horizons.  I'm unbelievably excited about starting school again and I'm becoming more and more pumped to be living on the East Coast and being exposed to a lot of new things.  I'm not excited to leave my family or my beautiful friends, as I very much expect and believe that there are no others like them anywhere in the world.  In addition to preparing to go, I also find myself relishing the opportunity to enjoy one last full summer in the Pacific Northwest, as there really is nowhere more beautiful and special than here.  I don't care what anyone anywhere else says....we've got it right out here.

As far as the details go, I have an apartment, a plane ticket, and a general idea of how I'd like things to go (ha...yeah right), but very little else to go on.  I have yet to receive my placement for my internship, haven't registered for classes, don't know where my work study job will be, still need to put for the last of my loans, and need to learn to navigate this crazy huge city in 3 days once I get there.  I also have to drag my wonderfully cute but horribly impatient cat across the country on an airplane. Should be exciting.  Not to mention I've been told that I'm moving to Boston on the biggest moving day in the city.  75% of the city's apartment dwellers move on September 1st....including most students from Harvard, MIT, BU, BC, Tufts, etc...  I'm in for a long day.

For those that read this that are praying types (which most of you are), please pray for my continued preparations to move.  I have begun to realize that leaving the place you have grown up in is a pretty complex process and not really one that I'm ready for or able to do on my own.  Also, pray for my friends (of which you are one), because many of them have some challenging things on their plates right now that I can't wrap my head around at all.  God is full of grace and very much in control, but our 26 year old lives are being turned upside down in ways that I don't think 26 year old lives should.  Also pray that my cat doesn't die on the airplane in September....Amen.

:)





Wednesday, May 9, 2012

I've been told I'm pretty picky.

I suppose I am.

It takes very little for someone to make my "its not ever going to happen" list.  Not for lack of personality or lack of looks or lack of trying...but simply because of lack of common sense.

Harsh?  Maybe.  But here are 10 things that will instantly earn Prince Charming a place on the "Do Not Call" List.

1) Planning a date that is high off the ground...not romantic.
I'm not kidding when I say that if a guy asked me to marry him on a hot air balloon ride I would say no.  You drag me up that high in the air, you deserve a quiet, awkward ride back to Earth.



2) Wearing t-shirts that expose your nipples....gag.
Whoever decided this was cool was actually too high on testosterone to realize that girls think you look stupid....not cool.

sleeveless shirt dude side boob

3) Buying me things that are expensive and worthless....my jewelry box is already full.  Thank you.
If all you can think to buy me is a necklace or set of diamond earrings, you don't know me very well.  The only diamond I want to receive is in the form of a ring that says you want to be with me forever (and it better be conflict-free).  Otherwise....get creative.



4) Spending every spare moment pumping iron....meat head.
I'm all for fitness, but get a life.













5) Being a crappy driver....safety first.
Didn't your Dad ever teach you to respect ladies and keep them safe?  Your ridiculous road rage and disrespect for the law does not impress me.  It just reminds me of what my Dad always warned me..."Guys are idiots".



6) Not asking questions...interview me please.
As much as I love to talk and as much as I have twenty billion questions stacked up in my head to ask you, I would also like to believe that you want to know a thing or two about me too.


7) Expressing that indoor activities are inferior to outdoor activities...I like movies.
As much as I can appreciate a day at the lake, a weekend of camping, a hike up a fairly public/non-bear populated mountain....I also really like movies, game nights, and indoor things.  The moment a guy gets snooty about his activities, I back up slowly....and eventually turn and run.  If you think the outdoors beats out indoors on every occasion, go marry a hippy.



8) Singing to me...it makes me want to disappear inside myself.
Painfully unromantic....really thoughtful, but too awkward to be enjoyable.



9) Making pigheaded ultra-Conservative comments....I'm a social worker.
At least pretend that you can see my side....because it's face it...I'm usually close to right...if not dead on.



10)  Making me chicken...if you've spent 5 minutes with me you know I hate chicken.
I'm not a picky eater....I like beef, I like most ethnic foods, I like breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I'll eat vegetables, and I'll even eat things that are burnt.....but I will not eat chicken.  Get over it and quit trying to make chicken happen....it's not happening.