I suppose I am.
It takes very little for someone to make my "its not ever going to happen" list. Not for lack of personality or lack of looks or lack of trying...but simply because of lack of common sense.
Harsh? Maybe. But here are 10 things that will instantly earn Prince Charming a place on the "Do Not Call" List.
1) Planning a date that is high off the ground...not romantic.
I'm not kidding when I say that if a guy asked me to marry him on a hot air balloon ride I would say no. You drag me up that high in the air, you deserve a quiet, awkward ride back to Earth.
2) Wearing t-shirts that expose your nipples....gag.
Whoever decided this was cool was actually too high on testosterone to realize that girls think you look stupid....not cool.
3) Buying me things that are expensive and worthless....my jewelry box is already full. Thank you.
If all you can think to buy me is a necklace or set of diamond earrings, you don't know me very well. The only diamond I want to receive is in the form of a ring that says you want to be with me forever (and it better be conflict-free). Otherwise....get creative.
4) Spending every spare moment pumping iron....meat head.
I'm all for fitness, but get a life.
5) Being a crappy driver....safety first.
Didn't your Dad ever teach you to respect ladies and keep them safe? Your ridiculous road rage and disrespect for the law does not impress me. It just reminds me of what my Dad always warned me..."Guys are idiots".
6) Not asking questions...interview me please.
As much as I love to talk and as much as I have twenty billion questions stacked up in my head to ask you, I would also like to believe that you want to know a thing or two about me too.
7) Expressing that indoor activities are inferior to outdoor activities...I like movies.
As much as I can appreciate a day at the lake, a weekend of camping, a hike up a fairly public/non-bear populated mountain....I also really like movies, game nights, and indoor things. The moment a guy gets snooty about his activities, I back up slowly....and eventually turn and run. If you think the outdoors beats out indoors on every occasion, go marry a hippy.
8) Singing to me...it makes me want to disappear inside myself.
Painfully unromantic....really thoughtful, but too awkward to be enjoyable.
9) Making pigheaded ultra-Conservative comments....I'm a social worker.
At least pretend that you can see my side....because it's face it...I'm usually close to right...if not dead on.
10) Making me chicken...if you've spent 5 minutes with me you know I hate chicken.
I'm not a picky eater....I like beef, I like most ethnic foods, I like breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I'll eat vegetables, and I'll even eat things that are burnt.....but I will not eat chicken. Get over it and quit trying to make chicken happen....it's not happening.
Okay but you a little bit of a picky eater....not that I would try to make you eat chicken. That is dumb. You are an adult, you've tried it, you don't like it, it isn't nutritionally necessary. BTW, stay picky at least a little, it isn't worth compromising on some things.
ReplyDeletehaha you are hilarious! i love this!!
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