Bucket List Revisited

My mom told me about this little baby who was diagnosed with a terminal illness and whose parents were writing a blog in her honor, documenting some "bucket list" moments that she was experiencing.  She died this last week at the age of 5 months old, and as I read her blog yesterday and ugly cried my way through it...I recalled that I had made a bucket list myself and that I was making little or no headway on it.  I decided to take a look and see where I've been...


This last year I managed to mark a pretty solid handful of things off my bucket list....a few of these things included....


15) Go to Europe.
22) See the Eiffel Tower
30) Fly a kite
55) Volunteer regularly
54) Find a street sign for "Danielle Street"
38) Find a career that I love.
58) Live in an apartment with no roommates.
60) See one of my favorite artists live (Dierks...oh Dierks)
80) Send a message in a bottle
82) Build an epic sand castle
99) Go to a GU B-Ball game at the Kennel
21) Visit the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans


I also plan on doing these two things this coming year for sure...


40) Get my Masters.
96) Live somewhere other than the West Coast.



Now the interesting thing about bucket lists are that they seem to morph as the years go on. There are things I felt like would "complete" my life last year that really don't hold any meaning for me this year.  Why waste my time watching every single Oscar Best Picture from the last 20 years if I don't like half of them?  Why in the world would I want to hold a tarantula?  I don't even like spiders.  Do I really want to run that half marathon?  My knee barely allows me to get through Bloomsday.  I may still do these things....but will my life really feel more complete because I did them?


I guess I've been thinking a lot, not about the meaning of life, but about what meaning I'm putting into my life personally.  Am I taking the time to do things that bring me joy?  Am I putting great importance into my relationships with others or am I putting great importance into my relationship with things?  Am I living expressly for the purpose of showing God glory through my life?  What a terrible thing to waste your life on things that don't matter.


I guess what it comes down to is living life fully....living it with purpose and with intentionality.  Too many days I come home and sink into my couch and watch TV to numb my experiences from work.  I may be serving during the day, but so many days it's with a heart that doesn't want to serve and that would rather be somewhere else.  I have 50 days left to make my experience at work something that feels positive at the other end of it.  I could leave feeling burnt out and unwilling to explore this population further in future job opportunities, or I could leave with a positive attitude.  I could also devote my time outside of work to things that feel like they matter....things that make me feel alive.  Maybe doing things that make me feel more alive outside of work will make me feel more alive at work.


I love that Baby Avery's bucket list was a list of experiences...a list of joyful moments with the ones that she loved.  Not experiences that would make her life more complete in the end, but that allowed her to live fully during the time she had.  So maybe my bucket list for this year....if I were to be honest with myself...would be a "make it as I go" list.  Am I living in the moment and grasping opportunities when they arise?  Am I trying new things and taking risks?  Am I laying it on the line and using up every ounce of every day to allow my life to have real depth?  That's what I hope for this year.