I sometimes wish I could backtrack about 5 years in my life when I had zero debt looming over my head, a car that worked, a carefree college experience, bright eyes and unabashed hope about what the future had in store....it was so much easier. Now I have LOTS of student debt and more coming, a really snazzy bike (but sadly no car), a not-so-carefree post-college experience, and eyes that hurt and glasses that need a new prescription (but you need good insurance for that....soooo).
About 10 minutes ago I almost put myself into cardiac arrest when I went to change my addresses on my loans and found that I was $850.00 behind on my payments....I looked into it closer and the loans were for something that I don't have loans out for...... Turns out, I think, that the page was a "sample" of how their webpage payments worked. Holy cow...what kind of whacked out move is that to make? Can you imagine how many people have logged in and thought they were looking at their ACTUAL loan payments. Good thing I don't seriously have heart issues....I'd be a goner.
I hate loans. I guess it isn't even the loans I have a problem with..it is bills in general. I wish all my bills were paid in one fell swoop every month. Nothing freaks me out more than knowing I have to make sure that I get my rent check in, my Avista bill paid, my Comcast bill paid, and any loan payments I have paid. Holy smokes... and all on different days. I miss the days in college when I paid rent and utilities to one of my roommates on the 1st and the bill paying was over. There seems to be so much more on the line these days...like my financial future. AUGH!
You know what I don't understand? Having a car payment, student loan payment, credit card payment, mortgage payment, and then having kids on top of it. I am SO not mature enough to handle that...
ha!
I made my first real budget this month....I've never really needed one because I'm a pretty good saver and am pretty careful with my money in general. However, I have big things in mind for this year, and a budget is a necessary evil. No need to divulge the dirty details, but I do only have $30.00 a week in fun money, so if you see me spending more than that....punch me in the face.
Can you tell I have money on the mind? I'm not sure I can stand not knowing about grad school (which is a BIG money issue for the next two years) for another 3 weeks. The planner in me wants to know RIGHT NOW and then the other part of me knows that God knows where I'm headed next year already and that I should chill out. Turns out being a control freak is useless....
But because I sometimes don't have enough optimism in my life...here are a few things to be optimistic about right now.
1) Snow is coming this week. We haven't had much this year yet. I guess it's kind of a pain, but its also beautiful....I could use some beauty.
2) Valentine's Day is coming up this next month. This holiday usually sucks as a single person, but I actually really love it. This year there is a great chick flick coming out in the theaters (Channing Tatum...all the Valentine's gift I need). Also chocolate and flowers are amazing and I usually am lucky enough to receive both in some capacity...
3) I finished cleaning out my closet and officially only own clothes that I adore. Enough of that ugly shirt that I've held onto all these years because I didn't have a good replacement.
4) Even if I have a ton of bills to pay...one thing to remember is that at least I have the cutest apartment ever that I'm paying rent for and I was fortunate enough to get to go to school when some people don't have that opportunity. I'm officially done complaining now! :)
Have a BEAUTIFUL SNOW FILLED WEEK....and if you are unlucky enough to live somewhere where it never snows...go stick your head in your freezer.
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