Sunday, February 12, 2012

Paper Hearts

I've heard a lot of complaints about Valentine's Day over the years....in fact...some of them have probably come out of my mouth at one time or another.

1)  "It's a Hallmark holiday"
2)  "You should tell people you love them every day...not just Valentine's Day"
3)  "It's really over-consumeristic"
4)  "Its fun if you are actually HAVE a Valentine..."

Ok, so maybe all of those are true....but why can't it still be fun? 

I have a little bit of a twisted love affair with Valentine's Day and I have to say that I've never received flowers as a romantic gesture, never gone out for an intimate dinner, never been surprised by something unexpected from a special someone.  Realistically Valentine's Day falls flat when it comes to all its traditional selling points.  BUT....here is why I like Valentine's Day.

1) Those little cards that kids give to their classmates (especially the old school ones that we had....they came with envelopes.  High qual.)  I was at Hallmark with my mom the other day and picked up a box and was pleasantly reminded of how sweet and innocent those cards are.  I remember being REALLY concerned about which one to give to the cute guy that sat across from me in class...and after looking at them as an adult...I realize I shouldn't have worried so much.  There is no way that any little boy could read "You are rad" or "I'm bananas over you" or "You're purrfect" and actually question your intentions by that.  Boys are so dense...and those card are so ridiculous.

2) Flowers....it's the one day of the year where I unabashedly believe that I deserve a $15.00 bouquet of flowers on my own dime.  Usually I go for the $3.50 bunches at Trader Joes, but Valentine's Day calls for something special.  And I don't care that it isn't from someone else....because flowers are flowers.  Let's be real.

3) Getting a card from my mom in the mail.
It's no lie.  My mommy loves me.  And she is always good to me on Valentine's Day.

4) 4 days of non-stop girl movies on TV.  Enough of those thrillers or science fiction garbage flicks...I'm talking hours and hours of the best chick flicks ever made.  Today alone (because I was at home cleaning and cooking), I have watched Pretty Woman, The Holiday, 27 Dresses, When in Rome, and later I plan on watching the Proposal.  It has been good....really good.

5) Wearing that ugly pink scarf that I never wear any other day of the year.  It's hot pink...why would I ever wear that really?  I got to wear it the other night for girls night, and it was liberating.  I felt like Paris Hilton, but I felt liberated doing so.  I'm saving my light pink scarf with black hearts for Tuesday...and anticipating a day of borderline sexual harassment from my clients.

6) Not having to buy something for someone else.  You know how much cheaper it is to not be dating someone on Valentine's Day? 

But realistically this Valentine's Day the thing I love most is that I'm just loving the slow roll of life.  I will admit that on Valentine's in the past, I have felt really overwhelmed by the day.  Overwhelmed by the lack of romance in my life. Overwhelmed by the fact that the chick flicks are so untrue.  Overwhelmed by friends planning weddings, getting engaged, getting married, having kids.  This year, I'm relieved to be where I am.  I'm relieved that I'm relieved.  Call it an attitude change or a real honest answer to prayer, but for the first Valentine's Day ever...I'm not anticipating that tiny ache that goes along with the day.  For the first time in my life I think I'd run away from romance if it came my way because its the last thing I want.  My self-identity is for the first time ever not dominated by my singleness.  Sigh of relief.

Life is good.

As for a run of the mill life update...I have sent in my tuition deposit and am starting to pull myself into the preparation mode for a big move across country in September.  I literally still can't believe I'm going, but I have never felt more assured that I'm making the right move.  I have major discernment issues in life.  I changed my major 3 times officially.  I date the wrong guys.  I get myself into weird situations.  I guess I can't guarantee that I'm making the perfect one here either.  And by perfect...I mean easy.  I tend to quit when the going gets rough, which may explain the changes in majors/flakey relationships.  If something turns me off even just a little bit, I peace out.  I realize that by moving all the way across the country and paying out the nose for an expensive private education, I am abandoning my liberty to change my mind. This is it.  And as scary as that may usually feel for my non-committal self....I feel so sure about it.  So pumped.

The scariest portion of planning this move right now is the realization that if I decide to live in a studio apartment without roommates I am going to be living in a shoebox that costs 3 times as much as my apartment in Spokane.  Holy cow.

So, all of you should start planning vacations to the East Coast, and you can come hang in my shoebox!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

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