I feel like God is trying to teach me every lesson in the book....all at once. Maybe because I'm actually listening and since I'm listening, it makes good sense to get them all in now?!
Here is what I've learned....maybe you are learning something similar but in a different way. If so, I feel your pain.
1) I've learned I'm becoming bitter about the things that aren't going my way, and I'm also learning that it is totally unacceptable. I had a bible study leader at one point in my life who was completely bitter about how life was treating her. She complained about guys because they weren't into her. She complained about guys if they were into her. She had a new complaint for every facet of her single state of being, and it made me not want to be around her. I'm drifting closer and closer to that with every failed attempt at dating. I'm becoming her....and I hate that. The other day I actually told one of my good friends to just stay single because dating wasn't worth it. Uh? Bitter much? I'm like the grapefruit of single people. And I don't even mean that. How did I get to that point? I love what I have going for me. I'm incredibly blessed. Why am I complaining? Ugh. Fickle....we are so fickle.
2) I'm lazy. I have had this nagging impression in the last few months...with good reason. Because its true. But it was thrown right in my face in a pretty abrupt way this week when my 16 year old car finally bit the dust. It was a pretty great car...I had it for 6 years with hardly any issues at all. I have definitely put in WAY less than a $1500 in repairs (and that includes tire changes). Now let me paint you a picture...I live about 2 miles from my work, and I have driven every day since early summer. I live 2 miles from church...never ridden my bike. I drive downtown to go to a movie. That is sheer laziness. I could run to that movie without breaking a sweat. Pathetic. So, God is providing me the opportunity to not be lazy anymore...thank you! Not sure this is how I wanted it, but I have to admit that I already feel more motivated and in shape after only 4 days. Now I just need to pray for a mild winter...
3) I'm allergic to something. Barring some expensive allergy tests, I'm not sure what. But I'm feeling the effects in full-swing right now. I'm hoping the winter months will bring some relief because its pretty distracting. For a while I was thinking it was dairy...so I cut that out. I'm not convinced. And I have to be convinced to totally cut out dairy. It could be a gluten intolerance. I don't even want to consider that, because you might as well just give me a feeding tube. Because cutting out gluten cuts out all of my joy in eating. My doctor also seems to think it could be mold, as I've had issues with that in the past and this really started to rear its ugly head after I moved apartments in August. We'll see. Maybe I should just invest in a bubble....such as this....
Especially if the bubble contains Jake Gyllenhaal. That will make the experience so much more pleasant! :)
Moral of that story is that God is definitely teaching me trust in this area of my health because I'm starting to run out of ideas. Thankfully he knows what is going on, so now its just finding a doctor that does too!
4) I'm bad at loving people. I think we all are to some extent. No one is perfect and some are worse than others, but I'm convinced I'm on the worse end of the spectrum. I have realized that I don't have nice things to say a lot of the time. And I hang out with people that don't have nice things to say a lot of the time. Not cool. Need to check myself before I wreck myself in that category. I also don't stand up for people the way I should. Straight up if you are near me, don't talk about people that I love as if they aren't important to me. Just a warning that I'm going to call you out on your crap from here on out. Told you God was teaching me things....
5) I need to slow down some. Getting rid of my car has made me realize that...yet another lesson learned that I would gladly have found out without losing my main form of transportation. I go go go all the time and have a bookshelf of books waiting to be read, a journal that wants to be written in, a cat that wouldn't mind a little company around the house, and a number of phone calls to friends that need to be made. I suck at taking time out of my day to build relationships and clean my house and catch up on reading and cook banana bread. I am taking vacation in November from work for 5 days and going away by myself somewhere. The decision was made to not vacation this fall because of money, but a cheaper option was found and I'm thankful for time to get away from Spokane and relax on my own. I've never traveled alone and at my own pace and I'm really looking forward to it. I like being without an agenda. It should be perfect.
There you have it.....I know these lessons could have been learned a lot more painfully. My mom needed to slow down about 7 years ago and she had a terrible accident that had her laid up in bed for 3 months. Thank you Lord for no broken bones! :)
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