40 Big Ones

I'm not Catholic, despite the best efforts of my boss at the House of Charity convert me.  However, I have taken a liking to the idea of giving up something for Lent, and actually sticking with it.

I am a really big fan of chick flicks.  But let me explain myself.  I'm a big fan of feeling mopey about my own personal life and then coming out of a new movie energized and believing in love again.  I would like to predict that if you were to poll just about any girl, they would say the same thing.  These movies give you a sense of confidence that something spectacular like that could happen to you.

Here is the real problem with chick flicks, and then I'll get back to Lent.

1)  They are essentially emotional porn for the ladies.  Seriously...I actually am beginning to believe that they are just as damaging to women as porn is to men, and here is my reasoning.  Porn provides men with false expectations and allows them to objectify women and play out their own fantasies without actually committing to a living, breathing human-being with feelings.  What do chick flicks do?  They allow women to harbor false expectations about relationships, cause them to objectify men (guilty as charged....I'll admit it), and allow us to play out our fantasies without committing to a living, breathing human being (while also harboring unreasonable amounts of hope that we one day will be committing to a living, breathing human being...preferably one that looks like Joseph Gordon Levitt.)

2)  They are unrealistic....
I'm not talking Sundance chick flicks....I've seen a few romantic movies that are pretty gut wrenching, and I mean that in a way that an actual relationship is gut wrenching at times.  But romantic comedies are seriously a load of bull and we all know it.  Yet somehow, every woman in America has at one point or another felt that a real relationship could actually closely resemble what is portrayed on screen.  If you try hard enough or wait long enough, that guy that isn't interested in you will fall madly in love with you...realizing that he has wasted an unseemly amount of time being a moron and looking right past you.  Hello ladies...speaking from experience...if he isn't interested, he won't be.  No amount of waiting around is going to change that.  When is the last time that you looked at one of your platonic guy friends and decided that after 10 years of knowing them, you are madly in love with them.  Uh, never.  Thank you.  Next point.

3) And likely my most important point....they really promote the idea that your life validation will be found in a man.  You know what?  If my validation is found in a man, what the hell is my faith all about?  I could have sworn that I was validated by what Christ did on the cross for me, yet somehow, everytime I see a chick flick, I have a little piece of that hope smashed and replaced with an inkling of desire for something more.  Something unattainable.  Satisfaction and validation from another person to somehow complete my soul.

I hope that you get where I'm going with this.  I'm giving up chick flicks for Lent.  And more than that, I'm giving up most everything having to do with relationships, because my relationship with my desire to have a relationship is out of control.  It dominates my life.  It dominates my thought space.  It dominates my conversation.  It overpowers some of the things that are most important in my life....and in fact, it overpowers who Lent is supposed to draw focus to, God.  If I spent 1/2 as much time talking to God instead of talking to my girlfriends about stupid non-existent relationships that we all have fashioned out of nothing...I would have a pretty great prayer life.  If I spent 1/2 as much time reading my Bible or catching up with CS Lewis or my main man Charles Spurgeon as I did watching stupid movies that fill my mind with continual amounts of unhealthy expectations...I'd have a much more rockin walk with the Lord.

So, goodbye girly movies, goodbye obnoxious gossipy and fantastical conversations about relationships, and goodbye study sessions being interrupted with daydreaming and wishing.  For 40 days, starting February 13th, I'm spending time relearning what God is doing in my life...outside of the realm of relationships.  So often I think when we say, "I wish I knew what God was doing in my life"...we mean, I wish I knew why this wonky relationship that I've been dreaming up isn't working?  Why isn't God bringing this guy into my life the way I expect?  But I find myself wanting to ask the "What is God doing in my life?" question in a different context.  How about, where is God leading me for my internship next year?  What is God asking that I pursue this year?  What are some things that God is asking me to drop because they are unhealthy for me?  What and where is God pointing me towards when I graduate?  How is God asking me to spend my money (aka his money)?  What is God trying to tell me that I typically ignore or can't hear over the noise in my own head?  That's what I want to know.

So....we'll see.  All I know is that there is a chick flick I'm dying to see on February 14th, and I hope that at the end of those 40 days, my desire to run out and rent it has been pretty much demolished.

P.S.  Too all you fine people who are giving up Facebook or chocolate...you are brave.  If I suddenly were not allowed to eat peanut M&Ms, my body might go into complete shock.  Noble pursuit.  Too noble for me!  :)