I'm silently judging you...

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them"
Mother Theresa

So, Lent is right around the corner.  I already said I'm giving up chick flicks and thinking/talking about relationships.  I need to purge myself from this constant pressure that is set upon us to find someone to love or to be suitable for love yourself.

But I have another area that I need to work on, and there's no time like the present.  I am extremely judgmental.  Exceedingly so.  I judge strangers.  I judge my friends.  I judge choices that others make.  I judge words that others say.  I judge clothes that people wear.  I judge the way that people look.  I judge everything about every one all the time, and I absolutely hate it.  You know why I hate it?  Because the only reason I'm judging others is to make myself feel better about who I am.

You spend $300.00 on a pair of jeans?  That is absolutely the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of.  At least I have the common sense to see what's important in life, and $300.00 jeans are NOT that.

Your hair is so bleached out that you could snap it off.  Trashy.  At least my hair (although I dye it and could just have easily had a bad dye job and had mine snap off too) doesn't look like that.

Your drinking is out of control.  I'm glad I'm not out of control like that.

You are the most ridiculously sheltered and naive person I've ever met.  At least I have lived a little....

You seriously just degraded that homeless person like that?  I would never be so disrespectful EVER as to treat another human being the way that you just did.

Look at just a few of the thoughts that run through my mind on a regular basis.  I just said or thought all of these within the past week.  And that's just a sampling.  I'd be embarrassed to have half of what I think in my head shared with the world.  This is on my mind because who hasn't felt judged...maybe even currently. I feel 100% sure that sometimes when I leave the room, people at the very least discuss me in a way that they wouldn't if I weren't there. As I sat and examined that more, I realized that I don't particularly have the right to be mad about that unless I can say with a straight face that I don't ever do behind the back talking about them.  And I do.

So back to Lent.  I'm a really strong advocate of giving up things for Lent that are actually intended to bring you closer to God.  If I gave up sugar, I wouldn't get closer.  I'd feel resentful and like an addict who has been forced into rehab. So nothing like that.  But what does God think of my judging?  What does God think about others judging me?

"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you." Matthew 7:1-2

Will my cutting down on judging cause others to judge me less?  No, probably not.  You can't change others, but I can change myself, and I can change the way that I respond to the people that God has placed in my life.  We cross paths with people for a reason.  Every interaction has meaning and I truly believe that God orchestrates life in such a way that we are to genuinely grasp on, go for the ride, and love people while doing it.  I am NOT loving people if I'm busy judging them.  I am not allowing myself to comprehend that they have a journey that I have no understanding of.

So, what if for 40 days, everytime I found myself judging someone, I instead think of something that honors God's creation.  God created each of those people I am judging and loves all of them just as much as he loves me.  Yikes. Reality check. So, doing that can look different depending on the situation.  It can look like praying for someone that needs prayer instead of judging the fact that they do.  It can look like finding something positive to say about someone instead of something negative.  It can mean thinking more deeply about where someone is coming from instead of jumping to my self-centered conclusion.  It could even mean stopping to consider why I'm judging someone with the intent of lowering them and heightening me.

I'm doing it. I'm feeling ambitious this year.  There has to be some point in your life where you stop being a selfish brat and start figuring out what's important.  I may be getting there.  I think its a lifelong process, but you gotta find a jumping-off point.

This task will be particularly hard in regards to these areas of my life:
1) Living in superficial Boston...where I seriously think that 1/2 of the city wastes 3/4 of what they spend on clothes, jewelry, makeup, and cars.
2) Having Republican friend that post "judgment inducing" links on Facebook.
3) Rude bus and T drivers
4) Radically conservative Christians...they kill me.  But they also love Jesus and so do I, so time for middle-ground finding.
5) People that don't like cats...I judge you.  It will be hard not to.

So...starting Wednesday, 40 days of dramatic decreases in judgment holding and dramatic decreases in caring if I'm single for all of eternity!  Yippee.  Thankfully I did not give up wine for Lent, so I will partake in that if all else fails! :)